A dimly-remembered version of the Mr. Belvedere theme song has gotten stuck in my head. It’s a little worrisome. It’s not unlike the process behind Dirty Projectors’ Rise Above, except (a)I am not a classically-trained, conceptually-minded musician; (b)it’s the Mr. Belvedere theme. So I have an old-timey combo making music in the dimly-lit corners of my mind, and the crooning lyrics that go over it sound something like this:
Look out behind you;
He’ll kill you with a spear.
Evade his deadly hands;
It’s Mr. Belvedere.
This whole thing is due to the fact that I can barely remember the actual theme music, and so at any given time, around 5% of my head is dedicated to writing this new version of it. All of which is based around an idea that Mr. Belvedere is, in fact, a former SAS commando now living in hiding as the valet for a nouveau-riche American millionaire.
Don’t sleep too soundly;
He’ll make you disappear.
Don’t touch his bayonet, good sir;
He’s Mr. Belvedere.
Some muted trumpet. Some soft drumming. All of this is rattling around the innards of my brain, and has been for weeks.
Can snuff you with a wicket;
And look! Bob Uecker’s here!
Fear his words! Fear his deeds! Fear his name!
Fear Mr. Belvedere!